Creating a Safe Space: Tips for Fostering Open Conversations About Grief

General tips for supporting grieving children begins with maintaining a consistent routine by maintaining normalcy and structure to provide a sense of security. However, we should be observant on what the child needs and whether the environment is supportive of children who may behave differently after having lost a loved one. Home routines are one example of maintaining structure and normalcy, particularly meals, bath, and bedtime routines.

Children are curious and ask questions. Open communication is a must. Encourage honest conversations. Do not dismiss their concerns but validate their feelings. We may be uncomfortable with some of their questions so we can say, “Let me think about that and I will get back to you.” That gives us the opportunity to pray for wisdom or solicit advise from others. Remember, you may also be dealing with your own grief at the same time.

Offer creative outlets. Provide opportunities for art, writing, dance, and other forms of expression. My daughter chose to learn ballroom dancing which gave her a physical release of grief, focus on learning the patterns, and the calm and soothing sounds of music.

Engage in memory making activities that honor the memory of the deceased like creating memory boxes or sharing stories. I have a good friend who is a grandmother and she used a suitcase to house family stories of Grandpa and mementos. The grandchildren know when they are missing Grandpa they can open up the suitcase and visit their memories. Some children journal their memories like the main character of Joy Overcame Sorrow. Some families may share stories over family game night, a campfire, family reunions, or traditions. Children need to hear the stories about their loved ones.

Here are some thoughtful, faith-sensitive strategies to help foster those conversations:

1. Lead with Presence, Not Pressure

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, “I’m here.” Let the grieving person set the pace. Silence can be sacred—don’t rush to fill it.

2. Use Gentle, Open-Ended Prompts

Instead of “How are you?” try:

• “What’s been on your heart lately?”

• “Would you like to share a memory today?”

• “What’s something that’s felt especially hard—or comforting—this week?”

These invite reflection without demanding it.

3. Normalize the Grieving Process

Remind them that grief isn’t linear or tidy. Share that it’s okay to feel joy and sorrow in the same breath. Faith-based audiences often appreciate reminders that even Jesus wept (John 11:35).

4. Model Vulnerability

If appropriate, share your own experiences with loss. This builds trust and shows that grief is not something to be hidden or “fixed.”

5. Create Safe, Sacred Spaces

Whether it’s a classroom, support group, or email devotional, make it clear that all emotions are welcome. Establish ground rules like “no fixing,” “no judgment,” and “everything shared stays here.”

6. Incorporate Scripture and Prayer Thoughtfully

Use verses that validate sorrow and offer hope (e.g., Psalm 34:18, Matthew 5:4). Invite participants to reflect or pray aloud if they feel led—but never require it.

7. Use Creative Expression

Especially with children, tools like drawing, storytelling, or journaling can help them express what words can’t. You might ask, “Can you draw what your heart feels like today?”

8. Avoid Platitudes

Phrases like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason” can feel dismissive. Instead, say things like, “That sounds incredibly painful,” or “I’m so sorry you’re carrying this.”

9. Follow Up

Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. A simple “I’ve been thinking of you” weeks or months later can mean the world.

10. Encourage Community

Grief can isolate. Help people connect with others who understand—through support groups, church ministries, or even your own email list. For additional information from the author Jerry Woodbridge, please log into https://jerrywoodbridge.com and complete the contact form.Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

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